Do we know who our enemies are?

 I often find myself looking for enemies. I close my eyes, and I know that I'm surrounded by them. I picture myself among some trees, asking for protection, asking them how to bounce back, how to stand.
Then I try to focus, and I remind to myself that the same trees will be standing there even if I won't be needing any protection, even if I won't have any enemy to be protected from. Even if I won't be there.
So I try to focus on them, on the Trees, knowing that if I'll be needing them, they'll be standing there. Not only for me, but because that is what they do.



I often find myself being paranoid. Me myself looking to be paranoid.
I close my eyes, and I know that I easily can get there. I picture myself among enemies, even if I don't see them, knowing that the fact that I'm paranoid doesn't mean they won't be after me.
Then I try to focus, and I remind to myself that I've been quoting this last phrase since I first heard Nirvana's Territorial Pissing. Only few years ago I then read that John Lydon wrote the same exact phrase on his London flat during the early P.I.L. years.
So I decide to flip this pic upside down, where I won't see an heavy sky weighing on a dark, wavy Sea (nearby Barcelona). I will see a maximized pic of my fingertip almost touching a glossy bark. Knowing I will love that feeling, knowing it'll make that moment feeling real.
I don't know if this makes too much sense.
Anyway, 20 years today I saw Nirvana in Milan, while now I'm about to play in London.
That explains the thoughts about Cobain and Lydon.
While as for the trees, well, you know where my heart beats.
And I won't be thinking of any enemy for today, I promise.

PAIN IS ON OUR SIDE NOW

Here I am with the first post of 2014.
And the new post comes with a photo by my dear C.Lee, taken while touring south of Italy last week (in Sermoneta, at San Nicola's Church).

Through one eye of this Church we can see you, standing there, You protecting us (you the Trees). 

And this post comes also on the exact release date for Father Murphy's new EP, Pain is on our side Now.
A concept EP on Failure.

Through the one eye of this Church we can see You (You the Shame), hiding behind the Trees. The same shame that the memory of this day brings along.
Pain is on our side now as the Pain of the ones persecuted, as the Pain that will always look for the persecutors. There will never be peace for them, there's no need, there's no willing to forgive.
Failure is there to give us another chance, to try doing things in a different way.
But it ain't Failure what did happen back then. There's no chance to start over.
There will only be Shame. And no Peace, because you cannot have any Peace when you have someone else's Pain looking after you.

Christmas Eve

William S. Burroughs names Father Murphy a Priest who finds a body cut inside a bag on a Christmas Eve.

Years  before, his only son was striving to have some words down for leaving at least a track of his brief existence. While reading his "Speed" I could not help but stop and write down with Trees name of my own this brief line of his.

"The two Pinasters [in the book the name of the Trees was different, I changed it for making it work with my photo] in the backyard took each other in their arms and, weeping, filled with spider webs".

 The two Maritime Pines were standing next to me while facing the North Sea between Latvia and Estonia, on my trip throughout Europe and bound to the Real North together with my dear friend Jarboe.

Now that I'm finally heading home, I like to think of all the Trees that have been protecting me all over the weeks and the year taking each other in their arms and getting ready for the Winter to come.

Anyhow, God speed You Billy Jr., I thought of you in that shore, and those two Trees will remember you, together with me myself.

...The balance I've kept

 Compared to Joy Division's Passover I won't be talking about any crisis coming up to destroy any balance.
The balance I'm talking about is me referring to these trees standing still to keep the Waves behind them to crush down and wash everything away. And if those aren't Waves but the Sky, it doesn't matter. The highest in the Sky, the lowest down the Earth.

I do not mean I look at those Waves as a menace.
I just wanna feel their presence, and the importance of the Trees in the whole big picture. We are nothing here, stil theirs is a gentle reminder.

I say I always loved feeling oppressed by the high ceiling of the oldest church in my old town. It worked when I was a kid, it works now looking at these pictures. The old ceiling then is the Sky now, and I feel a bit dumb for discovering only know that Trees are not only columns, but, as I pointed out also in a previous post, they are the Temple Columns
 

The result of failing to see that, it would maybe point to the Trees Failure itself.Then there will be that crisis ready to destroy any balance left. Maybe that so called final Failure would restore a balance we never had any knowledge of. But, as I read recently somewhere, Father Murphy ain't no prophet, so I won't be starting myself here to foresee things.
God speed you, you and the Waves.

where the Heat comes from

In London, on a Sunday, I found myself looking for shelter.
I remembered the Stoke Newington Cemetery was the place where with the FM gang decided to fly some helium filled balloons. Vinh Ngo asked us to free 9 booklets he made while touring Europe for "Anyway, your children will deny it". So we decided that it was the right place.

Anyhow,  I had some minutes before going back on the road for the next stop on the Holydrug Couple's tour (check'em out, as well for White Manna, last two bands I've been working with) and it was the 6th day of the month, actually my dad's birthday, and somehow I felt like I needed to give myself to the Sun.

Finding shelter most of the times in my world means finding where the Heat comes from.
You have to know that the Stoke Newington Cemetery houses some of the most beautiful trees I've seen in ages, old wood full of memories and hosting thousands of ghosts.

This post is actually only a description of me, laying my back on the wood of a tree, looking around me for finding those i knew where still there. And I will keep coming back for finding new ones as well. Arrows pointing the way. My Path has so many stops that when I feel it I simply need to find shelter among the Trees that I recognize.

The same Trees that on that Sunday embraced me in their heat and gave me shelter, for the nth time.

Columns: threat of progressive failure

to E.

I never thought that human kind have been using Trees to define a place where to worship Gods. This happened way before they started making stone trees and calling them columns.
I believe the Bones in our bodies before being the columns of our standing still were Trees.
When I lay my back on a Tree I can feel my bones vibrating.
In all the Trees, in all the temples of the world's columns, in all our bones, there are threats of progressive failure.
I can't help but liking the idea of my body falling down once my trees/bones will fail.
On everyone's failure you can say there is equality.
The sound of all of us failing, an ode to Failure.
Will write more about this.
Again, I like promises.
I received this pic from my niece, while she was on her first trip on the real Mountains. In her mind Trees are columns for keeping the sky to fall over us, and I love to think the same way.

We build walls

We will build walls.  There We will find shelter.

We will stand straight next to the Trees. We will know when it will all end. We will know where We will stand.
And You will say: I go with you.