I often find myself looking for enemies. I close my eyes, and I know that I'm surrounded by them. I picture myself among some trees, asking for protection, asking them how to bounce back, how to stand.
Then I try to focus, and I remind to myself that the same trees will be standing there even if I won't be needing any protection, even if I won't have any enemy to be protected from. Even if I won't be there.
So I try to focus on them, on the Trees, knowing that if I'll be needing them, they'll be standing there. Not only for me, but because that is what they do.
I often find myself being paranoid. Me myself looking to be paranoid.
I close my eyes, and I know that I easily can get there. I picture myself among enemies, even if I don't see them, knowing that the fact that I'm paranoid doesn't mean they won't be after me.
Then I try to focus, and I remind to myself that I've been quoting this last phrase since I first heard Nirvana's Territorial Pissing. Only few years ago I then read that John Lydon wrote the same exact phrase on his London flat during the early P.I.L. years.
So I decide to flip this pic upside down, where I won't see an heavy sky weighing on a dark, wavy Sea (nearby Barcelona). I will see a maximized pic of my fingertip almost touching a glossy bark. Knowing I will love that feeling, knowing it'll make that moment feeling real.
I don't know if this makes too much sense.
Anyway, 20 years today I saw Nirvana in Milan, while now I'm about to play in London.
That explains the thoughts about Cobain and Lydon.
While as for the trees, well, you know where my heart beats.
And I won't be thinking of any enemy for today, I promise.
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